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Everyone Looks So Happy Online     Everyone knows how easy it is to open up on social media and we feel like everyone else has their shit together. You see many positive things; engagements, vacations, new houses, babies, career announcements, perfect relationships, cute outfits, spotless homes, and smiling faces. But the reality is that we are seeing tiny, carefully selected pieces of someone's life - not everything happening behind the camera.     I am guilty of looking at others social media and being jealous of it. I am also guilty of posting mostly the positive things happening in my life. But it isn't always what we think it is. Sometimes things are actually not good. I used to post my previous relationship on social media like it was the best thing ever. But in reality, I was experiencing mental abuse and manipulation. We don't usually talk about the bad things. Social Media Is A Highlight Reel     As I said, we naturally post the good stuff. We post...
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What Three Years of Therapy Taught Me

The Last Therapy Session     On Monday, I attended my final therapy session, possibly ever. It was bitter sweet. I did not think that I was ready to be done, but my therapist had been suggesting it for months. So, I squeezed in all the time I could with her. I was in therapy for about 3 years. It was a long journey. When I first started I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel and voiced that often. It wasn't a walk in the park. It was really hard. I had to take a long look at myself often and admit that maybe I was part of the problem. That alone is a really hard thing to do.     I did so much work on myself in and out of my therapy sessions. I had to relive all of my traumatic moments that landed me there in the first place. Having to tell it all caused me a lot of hardships. I had to go through nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks. But ignoring the problem does not making it go away. We have to relive our pains in order to conquer them.  The Version ...

Maybe I'm Not Behind After All

The Timeline I Thought I'd Have     This past Sunday I turned 30 years old. There are so many things I thought I would have done or accomplished by now. It is hard to feel like there isn't a rush on things in life. But there really isn't. I thought that by now I would be done with my degree, have started my career, be married, and have at least one child. But turns out I am a year out from finishing my bachelors, I have not started my career, I am not married, and I do not have any kids. But that is okay. Everyone goes at their own pace. I actually have a tattoo on my ankle that says "run the race of life at your own pace". I felt this was so fitting for me because life does feel like a race sometimes. The Comparison Trap     This is something that I am so guilty of. I sit there and go on social media and see so many of my friends getting married and having children. It makes me feel like man, when is that going to happen for me? I thought I would already be there...

Your Brain on Music: Why the Songs We Love Matter

Music Is More Powerful Than We Realize     Music is all around us, at the store, in the car, at work, at home. But we dont always think about what it is actually doing to our minds. Music is so powerful it can change our moods in an instant. I personally find this to be so true. I went on a trip to New York City a little while back. I was really feeling overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle, constant noise, and endless craziness. I started to have an anxiety attack and started crying on the subway. How embarrassing. My boyfriend offered me his headphones. I put them on noise cancelation and played some music. Instantly, I started to calm down. I was amazed at how well this actually works for me. I don't know why I got overwhelmed, I just think I require the quiet sometimes or less chatter. But I do know, music is a beautiful gift. Music Can Change Your Mood     We all listen to music, most of us every single day. Have you ever been in a terrible mood, but then you go ...

Let Them, Let Me: Learning to Choose Myself

I recently got done listening to the audiobook version of The Let Them Theory  by Mel Robbins. I found the information to be so uplifting and helpful that I felt it was important to share what I learned about what is called the Let Them Theory. I decided on this book because I had seen it advertised many times. I felt like I often struggle with the opinions of others and the actions of others, therefore I figured I would give it a shot. But it ended up being more than just about that. I thought that "Let Them" sounded almost too simple. But the more I listened, the more I realized how much energy we waste trying to control things that were never ours to control. So...What exactly is the "Let Them Theory"?     Let them means to let other people do whatever they are going to say or do. We often get tied up in trying to control other people, their thoughts, and what people do, that it makes us miserable. We cannot control other people. We cannot control their choices, ...

Should I Stay or Should I Go? When There Are More Green Flags Than Red

 When the Answer Isn’t Obvious     We have all met those people who are just a walking red flag... But what about when it isn't as obvious. My previous relationship was much this way. The relationship started out great. He bought me flowers randomly, wrote me love letters and mailed them to me, and never let me question whether or not I was loved. But there was a huge problem, there were also red flags.     Along with all the lovely things that he did, there was also many things that he did that were just plain wrong. He wanted all of my time. If I spent time with anyone else, I would be greeted with many texts asking when I was going to be home, that he missed me and wanted me home. I had experience with controlling relationships in the past, so I ignored the texts and told him that I would be home when I was done spending time with my friend. I had honestly never met anyone so needy in my life.  I understood why he was that way though, he had been cheated...